I am on a high baby,
I am gonna fly,
Twisted worlds falling apart,
And nothing to hold back,
Just me going faster than the wind,
And these lyrics forcing me to sing,
Not a intoxication not any drug,
Its freedom thats what,
Pushing me high baby,
Pushing me high.
Your safe worlds wondering,
How to bring me back?
I have fallen apart and moved away from the path,
Enjoying the view and trotting along,
Its different do u wanna try baby?
I am on a high baby ,
I am gonna fly............
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Silent night.
Silent night.
Fading Light,
Stars shine,
You and me,
Think same thoughts,
Feel Connected.
Then,
Whirlpool of Activity,
This that that this,
And the subtle bond,
Broken,
You have reasons,
I understand,
But dont understand.
Memories linger,
And call for,
Your hand ,
In my hand,
Few silent seconds,
Were worth eternity,
Those moments,
Can not be brought
Forced ,Understood,
Somethings just happen,
And leave lingering after taste,
Neither wrong nor right,
Me alone with silent night..............
Fading Light,
Stars shine,
You and me,
Think same thoughts,
Feel Connected.
Then,
Whirlpool of Activity,
This that that this,
And the subtle bond,
Broken,
You have reasons,
I understand,
But dont understand.
Memories linger,
And call for,
Your hand ,
In my hand,
Few silent seconds,
Were worth eternity,
Those moments,
Can not be brought
Forced ,Understood,
Somethings just happen,
And leave lingering after taste,
Neither wrong nor right,
Me alone with silent night..............
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Impossible love
Theres one kinda love thats in ur hand .I mean you have ur loved one in front of you or away from you and you know what it is to be with her/him.A love that grows by nearness and adds more dimensions as u grow old.And one is a crazy love.Some people call it infatuation.Its more crazy if distances are more and the possibility of conversion of dreams into reality is nil.This is the impossible love.It gives you nothing only longing and pain.
And to feel it is strange because it doesnt take permission of your mind.
At the end of journey maybe the moments of impossible love will be the one that will resonate because of their craziness.
Thanks for showing this madness.
And to feel it is strange because it doesnt take permission of your mind.
At the end of journey maybe the moments of impossible love will be the one that will resonate because of their craziness.
Thanks for showing this madness.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
PHASES
Dont know what this phase harbringes.On one hand theres a settled life that has its usual ups and downs but all controlled to a ceratin degree.Like taking a ride in a car with seat belts attached.Roads the same.The other options a ride in bike without helmets.Roads same.
As usual life will force me to take its decisions, and i will think that i choosed.
The difference heres i have a platform from where i have to take a jump.Earlier there was no question, you had to jump.
Abyss calling again.
The difference between good and best is more than between poor and good.
The difference between 94 .6 % and 99 is more that between 60 and 94.
Learning the hard way.
As usual life will force me to take its decisions, and i will think that i choosed.
The difference heres i have a platform from where i have to take a jump.Earlier there was no question, you had to jump.
Abyss calling again.
The difference between good and best is more than between poor and good.
The difference between 94 .6 % and 99 is more that between 60 and 94.
Learning the hard way.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Tagged by a friend,
here are replies
1.If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
What u throw around,comes around.
2.If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
To know myself.
3.If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?
No ones.And thats the reality.
4.What would you do with a billion dollars?
Spend half a billion and make another billion from remaining.
5.Will you fall in love with your best friend?
You cant question or set conditions in love.Otherwise it is anything but love.If u decide to love someone or not, its not love.
6.Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by some one can do a lot of good to a person.Loving some one is often not so healthy.
7.How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
Classical hopeless romantics response : Till eternity.
8.If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
May be not try to get close to her.Will not stop loving her.Anything can happen.Thats love bollywood style.Remember RHTDM?(Madhvan )
9.If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Enough of Social causes.Plz kindly leave the world alone.Just try to do whatever work you have in hand to perfection and plz plz leave causes alone.
10.Do you lie?
No i dont. Hey hey hey.
11.Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
10 years with family, 20-25 years would like to become a teacher, any capacity.
12.What’s your fear?
Losing my grip on myself.Cracking. up.
13.What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Good natured, away from dark side,emotional .
14.Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single and rich have lots of options to get married so.......
15.If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
Its easy, who ever picks me up.
16.Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes.
Thats what all want to say but i have a hidden place, a corner thats in acessible.My own space and my individuality is necessary fr me.Sorry but true.
17.Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Yep.
18.Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Single.You feel alone and all that but theres no guilt, no commitments, no expectations, lesser lies.And you really believe in love and all that.And you are free as a cloud.
And you dont hurt anyone.
19 Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?
Pal pal dil key pass tum rehti ho.Film Black mail.
Tum sochogi kyon itna,
Main tumsey pyaar karoon,
Tum samjhogi deewana, Main bhi iqraar karoon.
Deewano ki ye batein, Deewaney jantey hain,
Jalney main kya maza hai,
Parwaney jantey hain.
Tum yun hi jalatey rehna, aa aa kar khwabon main............
Pal pal dil key pass...................
If theres anything more romantic then these lines, well i havent heard them.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Retrospect.............
In retrospect everything in life seems funny to me .Including all the painfull and at that time devastating things.So may be this period of my life will also seem funny after a couple of years ??
Ah that will be the time to write.
I still remember my college in Haldwani where i did my Bsc from.The first day i joine d, i was shocked , there were close to 3oo students in Bsc ZBC.300.If all came the class would be jampacked.Luclkily , even half didnt use to come.So i picked a register and sat in the class and learned about Algae in the first lecture.All the following incidents are real and believe me are nt made up.
The chemistry teacher came to class with a Big notebook and wrote even the date wrong.When we all laughed he said since you know kindly correct.He gave a example and got confused himself and again consulted his big register.More laughter.
Out of the 5 units of Botany, we were only taught Algae,Algae, and and more Algae.Yaar ye aagey kyon nahi badta hai?I asked my friend.His Phd was on this algae only and he doesnt knows any other unit.Even at the end of year he will teach alagae.
What man, dont joke.
Wanna bet?
I lost the bet , even at the end of year he was again teaching, Algae.
In practical exams the Chemistry assistant used to take money fr identifying the salts.
During the final exams we got to know, suddenly the course has been changed.Actually it was changed 2 years ago but no bodywas aware of it.After frantic search for the book , we got it 2 days before the paper.
In Zoology there was a favourite question ,Digestive system of Unio.I had mugged that up.In exams it was the digestive system of Pila.I just changed the heading from unio to pila and passed.After all dont both of them digest food?????
Once i was waiting to purchase my exams form.The clerk said its now 2 o clock, so i wont give it to u.I said ok and was going back.Just then i saw another guy came and take the form.I asked the Clerk y not to me.He siad:
That guys my friend .So i gave it to him and i wont to you.Do whatever u want.
I lost my temper.............
A long heated discussion(with ample swear words,threats to physical harm,actual confrontation) followed at the end of which not only me but 15 -20 students around there got the forms.But i was not happy.So much energy lost because of this small incident??
That incident calmed me a lot.
In my final year i had a serious problem.I had only 53% from my 2 years and i needed 60%minimum from all 3 years.Tht meant i needed around 70% in final year.That meant nearly topping college.
I mugged madly all irritating diagrams and charts and all.That year i studied like hell.
I will forever remeber my Chemical practical viva exam all my life .It used to be held in a group of four and 4-5 examiners sitting , questioning and enjoying humilating you.We were called alphabetically 4 at a time. When we got there, they were all laughing.The last of the girls was having her viva:
In middle of the Lab, there was a married girl,with a pippette in front of her.
Tell us whats it in frnt of you?
Sir....Sir................Sir/..............Silence.
Tell beta, dont be afraid, say its a beaker.
Sir its a beaker.
Laughter all around.
No no no beta its a burette,say it correctly.
Sir Sir Sir .......................................
say naa
its a burette
Its a burette sir...
Outroar of laughter.
Beta why did u take chemistry?How will u pass?Tell me the name of any one of ur teachers.
She answered correctly and was allowed to leave.
Then amongst laughter we 4 were called.
Whats that in front of you?
All said pipette.But my voice had a hard anger.
They turned to me
Tell me its spelling and its use and its type.
I replied angrily correctly.From then on we were discussing the electronic shells of carbon and its valency and all.
In the end they said good go.
I got 42 out of 50 in that viva highest i ever got in Bsc viva.
In my written , i wrote 20 pages where only 4 would suffice, i made elaborate diagrams, charts and got near my goal.My final Bsc % is 59.9%. 11 Marks short of whats required of a 3 year first division.
So what do u learn from this?That create a buffer of marks and then enjoy.In my Msc i got GPA of 8 in first sem and let it fall.It didnt fall beyond 7.5.
In pantnagar, you are under one Teacher whos your advisor.He/She is the master of your fate.Everything depends on him .Your courses,your thesis, your submission date,your future.
My advisor used to ask me everytime that she used to catch me after a gap.
So tell me what are your achievements in this period?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Playing Table tennis till 2 AM,Watching3 movies in a night,Driving a motorbike on a highway with no headlights,Sleeping whole of sunday,Reading novels no one ever read from the liabrary(really i was the first person to issue some books in 35 years)..................................................
Sure could not tell her all that.
But i really lived my life in Pantnagar.More about it some time.
Ah that will be the time to write.
I still remember my college in Haldwani where i did my Bsc from.The first day i joine d, i was shocked , there were close to 3oo students in Bsc ZBC.300.If all came the class would be jampacked.Luclkily , even half didnt use to come.So i picked a register and sat in the class and learned about Algae in the first lecture.All the following incidents are real and believe me are nt made up.
The chemistry teacher came to class with a Big notebook and wrote even the date wrong.When we all laughed he said since you know kindly correct.He gave a example and got confused himself and again consulted his big register.More laughter.
Out of the 5 units of Botany, we were only taught Algae,Algae, and and more Algae.Yaar ye aagey kyon nahi badta hai?I asked my friend.His Phd was on this algae only and he doesnt knows any other unit.Even at the end of year he will teach alagae.
What man, dont joke.
Wanna bet?
I lost the bet , even at the end of year he was again teaching, Algae.
In practical exams the Chemistry assistant used to take money fr identifying the salts.
During the final exams we got to know, suddenly the course has been changed.Actually it was changed 2 years ago but no bodywas aware of it.After frantic search for the book , we got it 2 days before the paper.
In Zoology there was a favourite question ,Digestive system of Unio.I had mugged that up.In exams it was the digestive system of Pila.I just changed the heading from unio to pila and passed.After all dont both of them digest food?????
Once i was waiting to purchase my exams form.The clerk said its now 2 o clock, so i wont give it to u.I said ok and was going back.Just then i saw another guy came and take the form.I asked the Clerk y not to me.He siad:
That guys my friend .So i gave it to him and i wont to you.Do whatever u want.
I lost my temper.............
A long heated discussion(with ample swear words,threats to physical harm,actual confrontation) followed at the end of which not only me but 15 -20 students around there got the forms.But i was not happy.So much energy lost because of this small incident??
That incident calmed me a lot.
In my final year i had a serious problem.I had only 53% from my 2 years and i needed 60%minimum from all 3 years.Tht meant i needed around 70% in final year.That meant nearly topping college.
I mugged madly all irritating diagrams and charts and all.That year i studied like hell.
I will forever remeber my Chemical practical viva exam all my life .It used to be held in a group of four and 4-5 examiners sitting , questioning and enjoying humilating you.We were called alphabetically 4 at a time. When we got there, they were all laughing.The last of the girls was having her viva:
In middle of the Lab, there was a married girl,with a pippette in front of her.
Tell us whats it in frnt of you?
Sir....Sir................Sir/..............Silence.
Tell beta, dont be afraid, say its a beaker.
Sir its a beaker.
Laughter all around.
No no no beta its a burette,say it correctly.
Sir Sir Sir .......................................
say naa
its a burette
Its a burette sir...
Outroar of laughter.
Beta why did u take chemistry?How will u pass?Tell me the name of any one of ur teachers.
She answered correctly and was allowed to leave.
Then amongst laughter we 4 were called.
Whats that in front of you?
All said pipette.But my voice had a hard anger.
They turned to me
Tell me its spelling and its use and its type.
I replied angrily correctly.From then on we were discussing the electronic shells of carbon and its valency and all.
In the end they said good go.
I got 42 out of 50 in that viva highest i ever got in Bsc viva.
In my written , i wrote 20 pages where only 4 would suffice, i made elaborate diagrams, charts and got near my goal.My final Bsc % is 59.9%. 11 Marks short of whats required of a 3 year first division.
So what do u learn from this?That create a buffer of marks and then enjoy.In my Msc i got GPA of 8 in first sem and let it fall.It didnt fall beyond 7.5.
In pantnagar, you are under one Teacher whos your advisor.He/She is the master of your fate.Everything depends on him .Your courses,your thesis, your submission date,your future.
My advisor used to ask me everytime that she used to catch me after a gap.
So tell me what are your achievements in this period?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Playing Table tennis till 2 AM,Watching3 movies in a night,Driving a motorbike on a highway with no headlights,Sleeping whole of sunday,Reading novels no one ever read from the liabrary(really i was the first person to issue some books in 35 years)..................................................
Sure could not tell her all that.
But i really lived my life in Pantnagar.More about it some time.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Most memorable journey.
It was the january of 2005.We planned a trip to Masourie as it was the last Semester of My Msc and probably the last chance to go with friends.
We arrived in Dehradun by train.The guys that were supposed to meet us Gairola and Nayan were absent.When we called them they told us they had assumed the train would be late and had not turned up.
Hum...............
Well we waited at the station .It was the start of some mad adventures.
Gairola arrived and took us to his uncles home and then we went off to see Buddha temple.It was great and all right except when Nayan sat on the seat of The high priest to get photographed and the normally silent Buudhist monks threatened to beat us..................
We took a hotel room and brought the drinks.It was my first time that i tasted alcohol and i didnt remember anything except that i had a great sleep.
In the morning the guys were angry with me.It seems i had occupied the largest portion of bed and blankets and had kicked any body trying to encroach my territory.
Sorry guys you made me try it...............
The bus that was supposed to come at regular intervals was late............
We reached mussorie and were told that we will be spending the night at a temple dharamshala quite far away.First we roamed around mussorie. We spent some time at the Lal bahadur Shastri Academy for IAS officers.Some of the groups had dreams...............
Then the madness started.
Depending on our Local well informed guides we were told that Surkhanda devi was the place, Natural beauty,Himalayas and free accomodation in Dharamsala.
We took a jeep to half way up to dhanaulti .Then we walked...............
It seemed after walking 5-6 Kms and if u add all the kms walked from Mussorie (15 at least )that we were still 15 - 20 kms away from destination.Evening was setting in and maneaters were assumed to be quite near...................
It was biting cold with snow fall the previous day.Luckily a truck gave us a ride to the base of temple.The temple was still 4-5 kms straight up.................
Off we went and just managed to reach the temple at darkness.We asked for the dharamshala and were laughed at by the temple people.There were only 2 bare rooms no beds no lights no heaters no food..................
Our guides looked a bit lost........
However soon we got 3-4 blankets per person and lit a fire.
For food we begged the temple people who gave us ingredients for Khichri and cooker.Bt the problem was water.We asked some army men guarding a tower fr water.They offered us liquor..............Somehow we gt a bucket full all fr us........
Well we ate and the food just disaapeared due to exhaustion and cold.
We retired for the night fully clothed .The door was a hilly style with a sankel .Before lying down we had closed it by inserting the axe used to chop wood fr fire.Wise........
Well if its a temperature of around zero, lying on a bare cement floor is not the most comfortable.The problem was should we lay the blankets down or cover ourselves as there were not enough fr both.We huddled together the five of us.
Suddenly in night we heard a scratching sound as if some animal was trying to force the door in..........................
What followed was a the greatest night of my life.We were afraid and having no option we poked fun on each other.Still none had the courage to go and check.The guys in corner were most vulnerable or so it seemed.It was crazy laughing afraid ..........
The morning arrived and the count was still five.On the door there were some marks.Of paws who knows?..........................
That visit also confirmed to me that taking sanyas was not that easy.The temple priest was standing bare foot while even with thick socks i was praying fr the pooja to be over.More than my spiritual longing , bodily comforts were more demanding.
When we reached mussorie we were as allways, short of money and Mussorie was a tourist city quite expensive.We followed nepali labourers to a cheap restaurant favourited by them.We ate so fast that the poor owner was nt able to cook fr us.We ate everything he had including at the end rotis with pickles...............
And we still had money to return to dehradun.We went to reservation counter and were in line.One guy had gone to take money out from ATM while the clerk was threating to cancell our tickets if we didnt payed and the people in line were getting in mood to thrash us........
In the train there were lady cops .Quite beauttifull and although i tried to warn the guys ,
Police wali honey sey pehley wo bhi ek ladki hai dost.Unkey bhi arman hain , unki bhi kuch bhawnayein hain.............
Quite right they were.
We arrived in Dehradun by train.The guys that were supposed to meet us Gairola and Nayan were absent.When we called them they told us they had assumed the train would be late and had not turned up.
Hum...............
Well we waited at the station .It was the start of some mad adventures.
Gairola arrived and took us to his uncles home and then we went off to see Buddha temple.It was great and all right except when Nayan sat on the seat of The high priest to get photographed and the normally silent Buudhist monks threatened to beat us..................
We took a hotel room and brought the drinks.It was my first time that i tasted alcohol and i didnt remember anything except that i had a great sleep.
In the morning the guys were angry with me.It seems i had occupied the largest portion of bed and blankets and had kicked any body trying to encroach my territory.
Sorry guys you made me try it...............
The bus that was supposed to come at regular intervals was late............
We reached mussorie and were told that we will be spending the night at a temple dharamshala quite far away.First we roamed around mussorie. We spent some time at the Lal bahadur Shastri Academy for IAS officers.Some of the groups had dreams...............
Then the madness started.
Depending on our Local well informed guides we were told that Surkhanda devi was the place, Natural beauty,Himalayas and free accomodation in Dharamsala.
We took a jeep to half way up to dhanaulti .Then we walked...............
It seemed after walking 5-6 Kms and if u add all the kms walked from Mussorie (15 at least )that we were still 15 - 20 kms away from destination.Evening was setting in and maneaters were assumed to be quite near...................
It was biting cold with snow fall the previous day.Luckily a truck gave us a ride to the base of temple.The temple was still 4-5 kms straight up.................
Off we went and just managed to reach the temple at darkness.We asked for the dharamshala and were laughed at by the temple people.There were only 2 bare rooms no beds no lights no heaters no food..................
Our guides looked a bit lost........
However soon we got 3-4 blankets per person and lit a fire.
For food we begged the temple people who gave us ingredients for Khichri and cooker.Bt the problem was water.We asked some army men guarding a tower fr water.They offered us liquor..............Somehow we gt a bucket full all fr us........
Well we ate and the food just disaapeared due to exhaustion and cold.
We retired for the night fully clothed .The door was a hilly style with a sankel .Before lying down we had closed it by inserting the axe used to chop wood fr fire.Wise........
Well if its a temperature of around zero, lying on a bare cement floor is not the most comfortable.The problem was should we lay the blankets down or cover ourselves as there were not enough fr both.We huddled together the five of us.
Suddenly in night we heard a scratching sound as if some animal was trying to force the door in..........................
What followed was a the greatest night of my life.We were afraid and having no option we poked fun on each other.Still none had the courage to go and check.The guys in corner were most vulnerable or so it seemed.It was crazy laughing afraid ..........
The morning arrived and the count was still five.On the door there were some marks.Of paws who knows?..........................
That visit also confirmed to me that taking sanyas was not that easy.The temple priest was standing bare foot while even with thick socks i was praying fr the pooja to be over.More than my spiritual longing , bodily comforts were more demanding.
When we reached mussorie we were as allways, short of money and Mussorie was a tourist city quite expensive.We followed nepali labourers to a cheap restaurant favourited by them.We ate so fast that the poor owner was nt able to cook fr us.We ate everything he had including at the end rotis with pickles...............
And we still had money to return to dehradun.We went to reservation counter and were in line.One guy had gone to take money out from ATM while the clerk was threating to cancell our tickets if we didnt payed and the people in line were getting in mood to thrash us........
In the train there were lady cops .Quite beauttifull and although i tried to warn the guys ,
Police wali honey sey pehley wo bhi ek ladki hai dost.Unkey bhi arman hain , unki bhi kuch bhawnayein hain.............
Quite right they were.
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